For a while she remains silent. She inhales a breath, opening her mouth as if to speak before closing it after no sound is produced. Several times, this happens, as she struggles with finding the proper words to say. Her expression is pained, obviously so. Her delicate auburn brows knit together in both hurt and confusion, while a pair of almond eyes reflect an old sadness; one she’s felt before, and will probably never be rid of.

A nervous chuckle escapes at last, the frown adorning her lips unwavering.

“…Despite what you and I may think, Anon-san… I know there are people who would be very sad if I were to do that.”

A pause, she somehow tries to collect her now-reeling thoughts. Quickly abandoning the idea of attempting to respond carefully, she speaks with whatever first comes to mind. Still, she finds it difficult to allow her thoughts to take form. It’s a small struggle, as she is her own worst enemy, but she somehow manages all the same.

“Nii-chan, for example.” her heart aches, another old wound being picked at. She continues, “…I think he would be… very sad if I were t—”

She pauses once more, blinking away the tears that threaten to spill over.

‘No.’ she thinks, ‘I can do this.’

She takes another breath. In and out.

“…I… want to believe that my friends need me as much as I need them.” she manages at last, her tone reassuring.

That’s right. She is not trying to convince herself. She doesn’t need to.

“I know I get in their way. I know I’m a burden to them and I make promises that I can’t keep. I let them down when my power fails, and I can’t do anything without relying on them.” her expression grows even more pained, and she grits her teeth in order to brace herself against the pain of her own words.

“But it’s for them that I want to become someone better. —I… want to become the type of person who they can be proud to say “that’s my friend”. A-And I want to be able to protect them— all of them! —So while what you say… I can’t deny it… but— well, I—”

Another pause, and she manages a bitter chuckle that’s somehow unbefitting of her. “—I guess I’m just a selfish girl, wanting all these things. All I do is want. I want Kurosaki-kun to love me, I want to be of use to my friends, I want to become stronger, I want my friends to be proud of me, and I jus— …want to be a better person.” she stops for a moment, thinking to herself just a bit.

“Tell me, is it bad to be so greedy? Ah— you don’t need to answer that. I’m sure you’ll just tell me the answer  already know.” again, she pauses, attempting to put her thoughts into the words she thinks are the best.

“But I think that… beneath all that want— my redeeming quality is that I have the will to change into that person that is best fit to be by my friends’ sides.”

And after perhaps the longest silence, her frown still securely in place, Orihime speaks once more.

“So I have a question for you, Anon-san. It won’t take much to answer— in fact you don’t even need to.”

A short pause— she simply is lost on how to word herself.

“…How can you possibly look at me,”

“—And think I don’t already know all of that?”